Don’t Even Get Me Started . . . Things on My Mind

We all have them. Topics and issues that you don’t EVEN want to get started on because you will go on. And on. And on. Usually, these topics are emotionally charged or just plain frustrating because there doesn’t seem to be any resolution in sight. For example, when it comes to driving: Why don’t people use their turn signals? Was there a strange EMP (electromagnetic pulse) that ONLY affected cars turn signals making them non-functional?

There are topics on my mind this week that are tearing at the fabric of our society. Dramatic? Maybe. But as I wrote in a previous article, “Culture is created by the behavior that is tolerated.” Each time a behavior or attitude oppresses or disregards others in our society, we unravel it a little bit more. It could be the way we ignore the rules of social interaction and our laws, or adopting attitudes informed by the “conventional wisdom” that contribute to perpetuating poor treatment of entire segments of our society.

Here are 3 issues on my mind, from the broad to the specific, eroding our society on several levels.

Issue #1: Harassment Marketing

This topic recently came to my radar as I have been dealing with trying to find a moving service for my mother-in-law. I filled out ONE online form and was inundated with phone call after phone call, email after email, and multiple texts: “When can I call you? When can we talk?” Over and over. This behavior really borders on the legal definition of stalking someone but they get away with it because they are “just doing their job as salespeople.” Really?? It’s obvious they have taken a page from the Inquisition’s handbook and just mercilessly slam you because they think you will break. I bring this up because it is a sad and dangerous trend. Why dangerous? In a world filled with real frustrations and problems, this type of behavior pushes us closer to the breaking point and can impact our mental health. This is the FOURTH company or service that has tried using this technique on me which means it has become accepted protocol. It doesn’t work – in fact, it makes me so angry I turn against the company permanently – but I worry about how it affects other people.

Remember: Just because you filled out a form or asked for more information doesn’t mean you have to put up with bad behavior. Don’t take the call (block the caller if you have to), ignore the texts, and put the emails into spam.

Building respectful and professional relationships with potential customers is a better way to build long-term business and add to your referral base.

Issue #2: Women Not Speaking Up

Let’s go back to my quote, “Culture is created by the behavior that is tolerated.” Women today are still complaining that their voice is not heard and that they are not treated as equals in society.

Why should we be treated as equals if we refuse to act or to speak out? If women refuse to risk, we should not complain that we don’t have the treatment that we want. There was a time in our country’s history when women didn’t have the right to vote. The Suffragettes risked physical harm and becoming societal outcasts to stand up for the rights of women as equal members of society. They went to prison; they were subjected to force feeding; and some of them lost access to their children. Yet, some women found the strength to take this risk on behalf of all women. Getting what you want can be a scary undertaking because you worry about what you will lose.

But think about what you will gain. Women, the next time you are in a meeting and a man takes credit for the very idea that you just shared, stand up and point it out. Knock the chair over. Drop your notebook on the floor loudly. Get the attention of the people in the room. Opening your mouth on your own behalf is much less scary and risky than what the Suffragettes had to do so that we can all vote.

Speak up for yourself and for others. Women lifting each other up is the only way we will all be elevated. We need to stop telling each other to keep our mouths shut and look the other way. Let’s start a domino effect of empowering each other. We have the power. Let’s use it.

If anyone ever calls you a derogatory name (women, you know what words I’m thinking of) own it. Take their power from them and magnify your own. No one can label you except you.

Issue #3: Anti-Consultant Bias

There is definitely an anti-consultant bias across the nonprofit community. It is unfair, unwarranted, and shows a lack of vision, and dare I say, FORESIGHT. Consultants are not the same as an industry partner, and frankly, industry partners don’t get much better treatment. For too long, the conventional wisdom has dominated in the area of how we treat Consultants. We are treated like money machines and used car salesmen. The attitude of many nonprofits is “Make Consultants pay more; they are just here to sell their services.” Oh really? Then why do so many of us freely share our knowledge with our colleagues? Why do some of us have and maintain our professional credentials? Why do we put time and energy into the organizations we belong to?

I will answer that for you: Because first and foremost we are nonprofit management professionals. We may be working as a Consultant now, but we most likely were on staff for years before deciding to go out on our own and become entrepreneurs. If you are like me, you are a Solopreneur. Consultants are actually pretty kickass and should be treated that way because entrepreneurs are unique people.

Most importantly, Consultants also have a career arc. We may be on staff, then consult, then join a staff again. Some of us become Chief Staff Executives, which means we are decision makers. As Consultants, we are already decision makers and we will decide if it is worth the bad treatment to continue paying dues to any organization since we then have to pay, pay, pay for everything else, in addition to paying for the privilege of being looked down on and shunted aside.

Stop thinking like everyone else and re-evaluate your organization’s relationship with Consultants. You will definitely benefit by realizing the value of Consultant members and it will put you ahead of the pack.