What’s in a Name?

When people insult me (which fortunately isn’t too often) I reply, “I’ve been called worse by better.” While this cheeky comeback might be appropriate for an insult, it’s not the best comeback when someone calls me the wrong name. Sometimes I reply, “Just don’t call me late for dinner . . .” but I still feel as if I’m being “dissed” when I am called the wrong name.

I know there are people who think it’s fine to mangle your name – it’s close enough, right?

WRONG. “Almost” only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades as the saying goes.

My name is not Celia, Cecily, Cecile, Sydney, Cynthia, or Sally (and yes, I have been called all of these at one time or another). My name is not Cecelia, either. It is CECILIA, with an I, the European spelling. Named after the Roman Catholic Patron Saint of Music (Virgin and Martyr) in addition to being named after several people in my family.

One of my favorite scenes in “Star Trek: The Next Generation” is when someone calls Mr. Data (pronounced DAY-ta) “Dah-ta” with a short “a” sound rather than a long “a” sound. Data asks, “why did you call me that?” and the Doctor says, “Day-ta or Dah-ta – what’s the difference?” Data replies: “One is my name. The other is not.”

So, what’s in a name? When dealing with anyone, but especially members, it’s a sign that you pay attention to detail. It’s also a sign of respect that you are doing your best to get someone’s name right. One of the things I like to do when meeting someone new (especially a guest on our podcast) is ask them how to say their name. Even if I still don’t get it quite right, at least they know I’m aware and making an effort to say it correctly.

Recognizing someone’s identity is an act of respect and an acknowledgement of who they are and everything they bring to any situation or relationship. It shows not only recognition but demonstrates that you SEE them.

If you want to turn off a member, potential client, or podcast guest, cavalierly throw their name around as if it doesn’t matter. However, when you do this, you are showing wanton disregard for their very identity, the thing that makes them unique among all other humans. Don’t be surprised if they decide not to renew their membership, not to hire you, or not to accept a follow up invitation to be on your podcast.

William Shakespeare wrote in his famous tragic romance, “Romeo and Juliet,” the following:

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

In this scene, Juliet is making the point that she loves Romeo despite his name being Montague and hers being Capulet. What should it matter what their names are if they love each other?

But of course, their names are the driver of what becomes their tragedy: their families are rivals and enemies in Verona, Italy, and their identities are the very reason they cannot be together. A disregard for their names led to running away, faked death, undermining of the clergy, and ultimately real death.

So, what’s in a name? Quite a lot when you think about it.