On Being Helpless
There’s a lot of words people might use to describe me, but helpless is not one of them. Whether friend or foe, you know that I am a “can do” kind of person that is self-reliant and does my best to help others. As a solopreneur, I am always on the go whether writing, speaking, managing the business, or leading courses (just to name a few things I do outside the newsletter and podcast).
So what happens when the unexpected and, to me, unthinkable happens and you sustain an injury that makes you immobile and reliant on others to do the simplest of things? You realize that you are helpless – at least on your own. I had to set aside my “rugged individualism” and stubborn self-reliance in the face of my current reality.
When I fell and broke my leg on May 17, I sustained an injury called a tibial plateau fracture (which comes with a fun bonus knee injury). At the ER, I was put in a brace that keeps my leg straight and prevents bending of the knee and told to follow up with the orthopedist. Okay, I couldn’t walk but somehow my husband helped me get back to the second floor where our bedroom is. We passed the weekend somewhat quietly (post-ER visit anyway) but Monday came around and I fell off my crutches right on the small of my back.
I couldn’t move. At all. My back wouldn’t work and keeping in mind I’ve had several back injuries it was even more painful than the broken leg. After about one hour knowing I couldn’t move, I asked my husband to call emergency services (again). I cried tears of joy when the firefighters got me back on my good leg and held me upright.
Because I was helpless. I couldn’t do it myself. After another visit to the ER, we realized I should probably stay in our basement which is accessible from the street level of our house. (Don’t worry – it’s not a creepy basement; it’s a nice one.)
Between a broken leg and a serious back injury, you can’t really do anything for yourself. I can’t go to the bathroom unaccompanied. I can’t get food or water for myself because that is upstairs. I can’t even brush my teeth or wash my face without someone helping me.
That makes you helpless. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve had an injury where I have no mobility at all. Every knee injury or back injury, I had some (painful) movement and ability to get myself short distances.
To be helpless is to acknowledge that it is okay to need other people to help you. It’s okay to say “I can’t” or “I’m afraid I’ll fall again” or “Can you get me a cup of tea?”
Helpless doesn’t equal weakness. You need to be strong enough to ask for help and strong enough to accept it.
