In Our Own Skin
While I always write about my own opinions and views of the world, I don’t often write about myself. I’m with me all the time so I don’t think there is much of interest to share; I already know this stuff. Some of it I’ve had to get past so I don’t think about it because I’m not that person any longer. However, a few months ago I was in a networking group conversation and the topic of things that happened to us when we were younger came up. Someone in the group noted that other kids, especially in high school, made fun of their last name.
That comment led to us talking about how we looked in high school, and I found myself saying, “I looked like a monster when I graduated high school.” My colleagues thought I was making an exaggerated statement, and one even said, “Oh, we all felt like that.” But I replied, “No, I did look like a monster and I have photographic evidence.”
Now why did I look like a monster? I can assure you no horns, fangs, or pointed tails were involved (although my detractors likely picture me that way). The reason I looked like a monster is that I had a terrible skin condition that was treated like an infection. It was a long time ago so it might have been an infection or just a strange condition, but either way, no one wants to walk around with purple sacs on their face that hurt and make your face swell slightly – infection or not. And to make it even more appealing, the topical antibiotic added a slightly yellow tinge to my skin. Enter the “jaundiced monster.”
I still enjoyed my high school graduation although the photos are just awful. Fortunately, I had a close group of high school friends who didn’t make a big deal out of my appearance and that was a huge help. I was able to focus on the experience and spending time with my friends which contributed to my personal growth.
Fast forward to young adulthood (my 20s) and I developed cystic acne. There’s nothing like trying to launch your career when your face looks like a flashback to the Black Death (pustules, get it?) Talk about a flashback of astronomically uncomfortable proportions! What confidence I had rebuilt after my high school years was hard to keep. I tried Accutane which worked – as long as I was taking it. When I stopped, the cystic acne came back. Le Sigh. That was a condition I had to wait out but fortunately my body changed over time and it cleared up.
Now, I have rosacea which isn’t such a big deal. If you have rosacea, your face is mostly red like you’ve been out in the sun. When it’s bad, you might get bumps on your face, and when it’s REALLY bad you get swollen welts. The National Rosacea Society (https://www.rosacea.org/) funds a lot of research on this condition and this is information I use to help manage my own skin, along with regular visits to the dermatologist. The National Rosacea Society is a nonprofit that touches my life personally.
Let’s keep in mind that when we meet someone with a lot of confidence, or at least seems like they have a lot of confidence, they still have to take the time to learn how to be comfortable in their own skin. As we grow and change, our skin changes shape too to fit the “me” we are now. Whatever size your skin is, whether it feels too tight or too loose at the moment, you will get to the point where it fits just right. We are all our own tailor when it comes to fitting in our own skin.
