Everybody out of the Pool!
By Cecilia Sepp, CAE, ACNP, LPEC
When I was a kid, during the summer we used to swim in our neighbor Mr. Dwyer’s pool. It was a good-sized pool for an above ground model and our neighbor even built a wooden deck around it. Kids in the neighborhood were allowed to use the pool at any time but there were expectations of behavior. In other words, we had rules for interacting with each other in this shared environment.
The kids could frolic, swim, play games, and have a good time but when we went too far, a grown up would yell, “Everybody out of the pool!” Why? Because we had broken the rules, and thus the trust given to us by the parents. We behaved badly and because of our choices to behave badly we lost privileges.
Being part of a community comes with rules, expectations of behavior, and responsibilities. If we fail to maintain a safe and healthy community, then we lose our rights to participate. This applies to our workplaces, online communities, neighborhoods, and countries.
The rules of the pool weren’t that demanding: Don’t make too much noise. Don’t dive into the pool from the deck. Don’t hit each other or fight. Don’t do anything that will damage the pool. And for God’s sake, don’t jump off Mr. Blanke’s garage roof into the pool either.
Pretty basic stuff: don’t pick on each other. Don’t ruin each other’s experience. Show a little intelligence in your behavior. Make sure everyone can enjoy the pool.
I feel like yelling “Everybody out of the pool!” in the United States right now. Why? Political violence is continuing a trend that started in 2022 and people are dying – over politics. Politics are why we no longer have a mental health safety net in our country. Our mental health care system is non-existent so young women fleeing war-torn countries are stabbed to death riding the train home from work. We wring our hands over these events and then go back to scrolling our phones rather than solving the problem.
We abdicate our responsibility to society by saying “you don’t understand how complicated it is. We need more policies.” And yet these “policies” seem to be political positions rather than real solutions. Certain segments think it’s okay to encourage political violence – as long as it’s not against them.
Civil discourse has gone the way of the dinosaur. The far left and the far right have become so entrenched they yell into an echo chamber – and if anyone questions their political positions, they shout them down. Knee jerk reactions based on political dogma have become the norm. Intelligent analysis of the issues does not exist in our public square any longer.
An ”us v. them” attitude is the rule now and it does not foster civil discourse, conversation, or good feelings. I’ve seen too often people shut down for trying to see both sides of an issue, or for pointing out that demonization of political figures is not the answer. The level of insults and name calling is intolerable.
Once we deny the humanity of others, the world takes a turn for the worse. When will we absorb the simple fact that there is no “other” – there is just us?
If our neighbor Mr. Dwyer were here, he would yell “Everybody out of the pool!” because of their bad behavior. It’s time for us to stop pissing into our community pool and start talking to each other before all we have left are violent armed factions who lash out because they no longer know the value of thinking.
