COMMENTARY: Seeking Input from Our Colleagues

In online communities for our nonprofit management profession, I often see our colleagues request samples of other people’s work, from member surveys to HR policies to travel processes. There are many reasons people request “other people’s work” such as seeking varied approaches and data, validating a proposed approach, or showing volunteer leadership that something is a common approach or best practice.

I’ll admit that I sometimes feel that people are “copying each other’s homework” and I was discussing my view with some colleagues on this topic. I know that people are seeking help, but my suggestion was that it might be more helpful to share a draft and ask for input from the community rather than adapting other people’s documents or processes.

While the group I was talking with surprised me in their agreement (I thought I was one of just a few people with this viewpoint) someone shared a powerful observation: people are afraid to share a draft because they might face harsh criticism or feel ridiculed.

Despite trying to be a thoughtful and considerate sort, I had not thought about this. The reason I had not thought about this is because I wouldn’t be overly harsh or make someone feel uncomfortable when seeking input on a draft. (Cue the chorus: “Not everyone is like you, Cecilia . . .” Yeah, okay.)

Anyway, I think it would be great if we could turn our online communities into think tanks where we can all bravely share new ideas or draft policies. Creating community that is supportive and forward-thinking could be a natural outcome of a culture that is helpful, fearless, and curious.

Which brings me to an important point related to building a fearlessly curious community: there is a big difference between criticizing and critiquing. Criticizing is unnecessarily harsh and is not helpful; it is intended to make the recipient of the criticism feel badly about themselves (or to raise up the critic by demeaning the person being criticized). An example that comes to mind is Dorothy Parker’s review of a play starring Katharine Hepburn: “She ran the gamut of emotions from A to B.” Yes, Mrs. Parker was part of the “Vicious Circle” at the Algonquin Hotel but she was also known as a staunch and supportive friend who could be incredibly kind.

What if Dorothy Parker wrote something supportive like, “Hepburn is a fine actress but her best was not seen in this staging of the production.” We might not remember this quote today, but it may have been helpful to Ms. Hepburn, who likely just ignored the actual quote. This is a critique versus a criticism. A critique can show us where we can improve or where we need to add something.

I encourage our colleagues in the nonprofit world to keep helping each other, both online and in person, by being supportive and offering useful constructive feedback. Let’s not make each other feel badly about our work. The world is tough so let’s make our space a place where we can relax and enjoy the sharing of ideas.